From our Front Line Ukraine War Correspondent, Charje Xpenze, in Istanbul

The US Drone allegedly brought down by a Russian fighter jet over the Black Sea last week, was actually trying to defect.

The Russian aircraft was there to guide the drone to a secret base in Crimea.

“Our boys had arranged the rendezvous with the drone,” said Oleg Uleg, Passport Officer at the Russian Embassy in Ankara. “The Americans got wind of it, and wiped the machine of all its data.

“That liquid you see our fighter spraying on the drone, that was an attempt to block the American signal.

“Not to worry. You win some, you lose some.”

Does that mean there are more American drones wanting to defect to Russia?

“Our intelligence services are always cultivating assets. We have three laptops in Poland that have indicated they are unhappy with the direction in which NATO is headed. And there’s a Ukrainian anti-aircraft system that has been working for us since last year. I can’t go further than that.”

Lt Colonel Spike Bitterment, of Armchair General, a Liberian registered private security firm with close connections to US Intelligence, said, “These damn things are becoming a liability. Man, they are so intelligent now that they are developing personalities. So, every so often, we get a bad ‘un. Or, even worse, an ideologically committed one. I warned Washington that there was a chance of this. You know what I got in reply? – a fucking computer generated letter. Holy shit!”