FROM OUR BUSINESS EDITOR LUKE CHANCE

FINANCIAL MARKETS around the globe are buzzing with rumours that Russia’s infamous Private Military Company, the Wagner Group, is seeking a listing on the Shanghai Stock Exchange.

“The initial public offering suggests a value of a trillion dollars for the business,” a defence finance analyst who wished to remain anonymous, told the Bugle. “But future battlefield successes this year could see that double, triple or … well, what price victory? Of course, the opposite is also true, so if Wagner cannot make progress in Ukraine, then the whole IPO might have to be scrapped.”

Although sanctions prevent most Westerners taking a position, curiously enough there has been quite a lot of quiet interest from NATO countries, and even a few Ukrainian oligarchs.

“Hedge funds,” the analyst said wryly, winking.

“The Chinese will handle the whole deal,” he explained, “with some inputs from other sympathetic Asian countries. Even the Saudis want a slice. Believe me, this is big. Part of the deal is that shareholders get to use Wagner at a discount. Moscow and Beijing will underwrite the offering together, and we expect a full prospectus very soon. My guess is there will be a limit on the number of shares in any one purchase. Putin and Xi will want a significant percentage, for control.

“It’s a huge deal. Banks in New York, London, and Frankfurt, they’re spitting glass over missing out. One Wall Street trader told me: ‘Fuckin’ sanctions, this could be the trade of the century. I mean the more Gen Snowflakes we breed, the less people there are willing to fight for their county. War’s been returning to the private sector for decades now, where it belongs.’

Private Military Companies are indeed a growth industry these days; some say the next really big thing as far as investments go. So if this float is a success, can we expect to see other mercenary formations, maybe the French and Spanish Foreign Legions, the Gurkas, or even the Vatican’s Swiss Guard, listing on world stock markets?

“It’s a real battlefield out there,” said the analyst, “and everyone wants a piece of the action.”