BY U. AVRIL IDIOTE

CLASSIC sit-com “Friends” is to be designated a serious adult drama following complaints that it is utterly offensive to modern tastes, beliefs and sensitivities.

The hit comedy which focuses on the lives of six friends living in Manhattan, New York, ran for 10 years between 1994 and 2004.

It has become the target of much criticism in recent years, due to its alleged white privilege, homophobia and trans ridicule.

“Focus groups, polls, questionnaires, they all say the same thing, “Friends” is a serious adult drama testing the boundaries of sensitivity,” says Harvey Wiseguy a Hollywood insider. “In fact there are whole sections of the viewing audience who watch it that way. And love it!”

Henrietta Harpy of the Liberate My Fucking Mind From All That Offends Me pressure group, says there is so much in “Friends” that is reprehensible, that she and her comrades are demanding reparations for LGBTQIA+ people from the producers and cast of the show.

“I mean you have all these white dudes, all straight, and they live in a hugely expensive area of Manhattan on basic wages, and it all turns out pretty well for them in the end. Privilege or what? Then you have the homophobia, you know, Chandler and Ross being labelled gay every so often, like that’s an insult, and Ross being married to a lesbian, like that’s an awful position to find yourself in; and don’t talk to me about Chandler’s father. That dress! That voice! I mean who did his transition?”

“It’s going to be repackaged, and soon,” Wiseguy says. ‘Tastes change, but content goes on and on, if you know how to present it. “Friends” can be sold as a kind of Woke Masterpiece Theatre, you know, issue driven, with a phone number and email address for a psychiatrist after ever episode. You could have that English comedian who likes dresses, Eddie Izzard, introducing it. Those English, they give gravitas to anything. Believe me, I see green.”

Dr Raymond Hauteur Sacre Bleu, a leading psychologist in the whole area of human sensitivity, said from Paris: “Ziz is a – how you say – game changer in ze whole field of human sensitivity, ze transformation of what was previously a rather vacuous situation comedy into a Shakespearean drama whose themes are symbolic of humanity’s constant struggle to be as self-absorbed as possible. I have already been inundated with clients who claim that their lives destroyed by watching “Friends”, even some who have only been told about the show but say they have broken down because of it. C’est fantastique. I see green also, I suppose. C’est la vie, as we say in Saint-Tropez.”