BY SIMPSON JUICE LEGAL AFFAIRS REPORTER

MANHATTAN’S RESTAURANTS AND BARS are abuzz with rumours that world famous human rights lawyer Amal Clooney is to join Donald Trump’s legal team.

“Ah, Christ, this is the dream team taking shape,” said Tommy Salerno, a long time Trump supporter. “You read her website? ‘Brilliant legal mind’, ‘fantastically innovative’ whatever the fuck that means; and she’s a looker.”

“She has been called to the New York Bar since 2010, I understand,” said Ulik Dribble a media legal pundit. “And she’s got class, which is a thing the Trump team may be lacking in. Slightly. Amal’s got buckets of it. She’s an English barrister too. You can’t buy that. Those guys look down their noses on plastic surgeons. They sweat contempt. Not that Amal sweats. Not her. Then there’s her wardrobe. I mean courts have been known to pronounce not guilty verdicts just on the news that she’s turning up in a certain outfit. Of course, she can come to court dressed in those robes the English barristers wear, with a the wig. Oh, the wig! She’ll look like the Queen. I mean that’s gotta be worth a lot for The Donald.”

Some commentators have questioned whether her marriage to a well-known liberal, movie star George Clooney, might cause problems.

“Not a bit of it,” said Karl Gambino, another Trump fan. “The presence of George Clooney with his charming wife, would demonstrate to the world that Mr Trump is a friend or ours, and a friend of all Americans. Except his enemies. If I were him, I’d make her an offer she can’t refuse. Do you know if she likes horses?”