BY USEA PENCIL IN SYDNEY

AUSTRALIAN TEENAGERS who regularly abuse their parents by text message are failing in basic grammar and spelling. A new pilot program aims to remedy that.

“It’s a nightmare,” says Abigail Swot of Queensland’s Lucretia Borgia College for Young Ladies. “The abuse is spectacular but the composition is terrible. We aim to fix that. In future, our girls will attend special text abuse classes, teaching them the proper way to make their parents’ lives hell by SMS.

“It’s got Canberra’s blessing and if it works we’ll roll it out across the country. And if that is successful, then the world. We cannot prevent the abuse but we can make sure it is very well written.

“That’ll take one worry off parents’ minds.”