FROM OUR JERUSALEM CORRESPONDENT

ARCHAEOLOGISTS digging in Jerusalem, near the spot where the house used for Jesus’ Last Supper is believed to have stood, say they think they may have discovered a small piece of the meal’s menu, inside fossilized donkey droppings.

The tiny pieces of papyrus, which are barely legible, appear to contain a list of food and drink. They are written in ancient Aramaic, the language of Jesus and his Apostles, which is significant.

“It certainly dates from the period and the words for bread and red wine are recognizably there,” said a spokesperson. “And figs. And we think an Egyptian cheese but we cannot be sure. There’s also a feint trace of a lip print, where it appears someone probably wiped his lips on the parchment.”

“This is so exciting,” commented Dr Thomas Dowt of the Institute for a Science-Based Saviour. “Could be another shroud. And the donkey. As we all know, Jesus entered the Holy City on such a beast. We’re anxious to see the evidence.”

“Donkey schmonkey,” said Christopher Parrott-Farthing, a leading English skeptic and virulent atheist, who has made it his life’s work to prove that not only did Jesus not exist but neither did First Century Judea. “This is all made up. Everyone had a donkey in those days. Everyone ate. They still eat. That’s how we live. I’ve been to that place, the Cenacle isn’t it? Where all the Goddos gather looking for pieces of someone who didn’t exist. Look, a donkey ate a piece of papyrus, probably because he was hungry. Then he took a dump. And that’s the basis for an entire epoch?”

The Vatican refused to comment. One priest did say off the record: “We’re a faith-based church. I suppose if this gets people back to Mass, it has some usefulness. But even if I had video of the resurrection, with Jesus giving commentary, explaining how he did it, there will still be people who will not believe.”

The area around the site of the Last Supper has been a site of Christian veneration for centuries. It is believed that the house of the last meal was a kind headquarters for the Jesus movement. It became a mosque at one point.

“It’s outside the walls,” said an eminent Israeli historian who says he prefers to keep out of Christian infighting. “Sure, maybe it was a good place to avoid trouble, and easy to get away from if the wrong people turned up. Who knows? You know Jesus wasn’t the only Jew slaughtered by those damn Romans. We all lost someone. Does anything really change?”