DEFENCE EDITOR

A PLAN to bring Ukraine closer to NATO by renaming the war-torn country has backfired and had to be abandoned after it caused panic across the alliance.

The idea was to add an “N” to Ukraine to signify NATO’s commitment to its defence, an eternal bond.

Unfortunately, the word Nukraine sent citizens of European countries, and many North Americans, running for fallout shelters and doomsday bunkers. Thousands of people who were consulted about the proposed change, believed they were being told that Ukraine was under nuclear attack and that they were next.

It took an online message from Vladimir Putin to calm the situation. He stated categorically that Russia had not launched any nukes and that it had no intention of doing so. For now.

While not perfect, it assisted in talking people out of their hysteria.

It’s understood that US President Biden sent a secret thank you message to Putin, disguised as an insult.

And Ukraine retains its name, if not all its territory.