BY OUR MEDIA EDITOR

AS THE BATTLE for Bakhmut nears its climax, it has been revealed that Ukrainian forces defending the city have been using soundtracks of BBC Correspondent Orla Guerin’s reports from the war-torn country, and similar places, in a furious attempt to stem the Russian tide.

“Yeah, a couple of our guys were watching one of her pieces a few weeks back, after she came here, and the sound was up,” explained a foreign volunteer in Bakhmut. “The Russians, who were about a hundred metres away, suddenly shouted at our boys to turn it off. That was when we first knew we had something here.”

Guerin’s reporting style, which has been described as Celtic Heartbreak, is often employed by the BBC in conflict and disaster zones.

“You want super sad, ultra depressing, you call for Orla,” said an unnamed BBC executive. “The charities love her.”

“Fuck, she carries depression in every syllable,” said Igor, a Russian soldier who surrendered after fifteen hours of Guerin reports being broadcast at his trench line. “I just couldn’t take it any more. The grim tones, the utter sadness, the painful delivery. You feel agony with every word. I just threw down my weapon and walked towards the Ukrainian lines in floods of tears.”

“The BBC has in recent years seen the value of sad Irish voices to their broadcasting arsenal,” explained Roy Messenger, a journalism professor from London. “Guerin is the supreme example. I mean they wheel out Fergal Keane too, but he’s Pavarotti to her Maria Callas. I don’t know what they taught her at journalism school but it’s pitch perfect. You send Orla to a school prize giving and people will be sending charitable donations within the hour. It’s impressive.”

And the Ukrainian Army has realized this too. Once it had been established that Orla Guerin broadcasts had the effect they did on the enemy, they began playing them at key moments in the battle for Bakhmut.

“We could not play her all the time, because of the effect it would have on our own men,” said a colonel. “We found if we played her in bursts, at critical moments in the fight, it could change the dynamic.

“In one engagement five Russian tank crews were forced out of their vehicles by three Guerin reports from the Middle East. Our guys wore protective guards on their ears but even then the unbearable sadness underlying her delivery made its way through. They had to have hospital treatment.

“We have been hurling Guerin at them now for two weeks. The Wagner people, they really can’t take her. Remember, a lot of them are ex-criminals and they don’t do pain and empathy, so the effect of an Orla bombardment on their positions is stupefying. It’s shocking even for us.”

Some human rights lawyers have raised the question as to whether broadcasting Orla Guerin at an enemy in wartime constitutes a war crime.

“Probably not. It’s legitimate war reporting,” said Messenger, “even if used in a callous and ruthless fashion. Perhaps on civilians, it might be something more. They’re used to her in very small doses. Anything more might be contentious. But that’s for another day.”

“Right now,’ says a Ukrainian Government spokesman, “we only use her when we have nothing else. Give us more tanks and planes and we’ll turn Orla off.”