BY SANDY SHANKHILL FROM BELFAST

THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT received the traditional welcome when he stepped off Air Force One at Belfast Airport.

“And I’m outta here tomorrow?” he was heard asking an aide.

Unionists complained that the American President had an easier time getting to Belfast than food products from England.

“He is an agent of Irish Nationalism,” said DUP representative Reverend Walter Puss. “How dare he interfere with United Kingdom’s internal matters. Doesn’t he understand his place?”

Yes,” agreed Jimmy “Mad Dog” Taighater, an unrepentant Loyalist assassin turned community worker. “On his fuckin’ knees. Biden, is that really a Fenian name?”

British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak was seen apparently trying to explain to President Biden that when Unionists exploded in contemptuous anger, it was a cultural thing. The President seemed to brush him aside.

“And I’m definitely leaving tomorrow?” Biden was overheard saying as he walked across the tarmac.