BY AUDREY SPACEFILTER, QUANTUM MECHANICS EDITOR

STAR RTE CORRESPONDENT SEAN WHELAN, who reports from Washington for his network, appears to have achieved a world first.

The journalist, whose smooth honeyed tones are said to attract women and insects in equal number, is in Ireland covering the triumphant tour of American President Joe Biden.

However, RTE’s website appears to have him in Washington DC at the same time.

It is well known that quantum particles, such as electrons, can achieve multi-location before they are forced by observation to choose a spot, but the magic had yet to be achieved by a human.

Could this be the equivalent of Schrodinger’s Cat? An animal neither dead nor alive until observed. Will future scientists refer to RTE’s Reporter? Neither here nor there until observed.

*”Very useful for a journalist,” commented Massingbird Bolingbroke of Reporters Without Consciences, an international training body for journalists. “I want to know more.”

“It’s chilling, truly chilling,” says Alex Doppleganger of Shape-Shifting And All That, the world-wide network of amateur science enthusiasts who believe that mankind can become gods. “None of us will be able to watch him in quite the same way again.”

*Not All Views Expressed In This Article Reflect Those Of The Kookaburra Bugle

– ED