BY MICHAEL MARKUS, IN TEL AVIV

WITH ITS pink flags and dress-code, and disciplined organisation, it looked like it had been taken from the colour-coded revolution playbook written by the CIA. However, the pink protest against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was actually a giant cock-up by one of the world’s best spy agencies, Israel’s famed Mossad.

The pink demonstrations, a gentle mix of artists and others seeking change, it turns out were the result of a Mossad gay pride exercise mistakenly employed in Jerusalem; meanwhile, the intelligence agency’s foolproof, gold-plated plan to secretly topple Netanyahu accidentally found its way to Sudan in a backpack carrying Falafel to a homesick agent. And it was in Khartoum where the Mossad revolution broke out into open warfare earlier this week.

“Oy vey, oy vey,” remarked Captain Moshe Diane, a transsexual intelligence expert based in Tel Aviv. “Did they fuck up or what? Bibi is shitting himself laughing, I hear. Imagine, he was expecting violent overthrown like Kyiv in 2014, and what does he get? A rainbow parade. I wish I had been there but I was always getting my nails done.

“It mighta been okay if our man in Khartoum didn’t decide to share his mamma’s falafel. Dipstick.

“When the the bullets begin to fly in Sudan, everyone at Mossad HQ figured out what had happened, and suddenly they’re up to their faces in scrambled eggs and excuses. Mashugana! Mashugana! What is this like, already?

“Mossad is doubly embarrassed because it’s reputation is one of rapier-like precision and extraordinary operational success. It snatched Adolf Eichmann from Argentina; it tracked down the Munich Olympic assassins; it taped old King Hussein and his wife having fun; it even put a transmitter in one of Donald Trump’s hair follicles. And now this? The world is going to shit. L’chaim!”