4.4 MILLION AUSTRALIANS (18%) ARE NOW DISABLED; N.D.I.S. SUPPORTS OVER 500,000; CANBERRA CONCERNED (SORT OF)

IT’S THE NATIONAL CRISIS that dare not speak its name*: The extraordinary number of Australians who have fallen victim to disability since the roll-out of the National Disability Insurance Scheme.

If the figures are correct, nearly one in five of the population is disabled and over half a million of them are being paid from N.D.I.S. coffers**. And this N.D.I.S. spending is on the way to exceeding that of Defence and Education combined. But still, the Federal Government remains unable to explain what is happening.

“Yeah, it needs a review, it seems,’ says economist Eric Logic of the Sensible Spending Foundation, a moderate think tank based in Alice Springs. “Though you wonder why. And I’m probably going to be smashed on social media for saying that. Look, if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck … well you know the rest.”

According to Johnny Rort, a disability advice counselor from Mount Druitt, it’s a hidden catastrophe that only reveals itself as resources become available to deal with it. “Yeah, like climate change. Look, you gotta be sensitive because when you’re looking at people on the street, remember every fifth person you look at is disabled. You’d never know it to look at ordinary Aussies, with all the sports and running and exercise, and the outdoor lifestyle, they do, but they’re suffering, and big time. If it keeps on going, by the end of the century just about everyone in the country will be crook and on the disability.”

Experts have tried to come up with a reason for the large numbers but no one can crack it, it seems.

“Several Fascists have said that it might have something to do with the money available from the Federal Government, and a complete lack of spending controls,” commented Xavier Chancer, who has suffered fifteen separate disabling injuries in the past five years. “But that’s an insult to honest Aussies. Look, it’s simple, this is a tough country to live in. And shit happens. And we’re none of us getting any younger. Ouch, I think I’ve done my back again.”

*RORT

**YOUR TAXES