SCRUTINY DESK

BESTSELLING AMERICAN WRITER Malcolm Gladwell, author of books focusing on strange and odd aspects of history and life, has found himself in a position that might make him the subject of one of his tomes.

“It isn’t his books that interest us,” says Dr Albert Mengele, of the Der Tod Macht Frei Institute, a voluntary assisted dying clinic in Switzerland. “No, not the books, it’s that voice. That wonderful gentle, tolerant, reasonable serene voice. Such tranquility. Once we heard Malcolm initially, we began playing his voice in our clinic, just to settle our clients. You know, they have come to end their lives, and Malcolm provides comfort, in the form of gentle beguiling reason and understanding; in spades. Frankly, it’s hypnotic. And reason is such a fine companion when you are about to pass on.”

But it wasn’t specifically Malcolm’s hypnotic reason that pushed its way into Dr Mengele’s clinic. “No, we kept returning to the voice that carried the reason,” he says. “After playing a number of Malcolm’s podcasts, we saw that clients were not just settled, they were entering a kind of trance. It was extraordinary. Remember, many of them do not even know what he is saying. But whatever the cadences of Malcolm’s voice – now it’s not always like this, he can get excited occasionally – they have an effect on clients that is akin to anesthetic, very strong anesthetic. What do the Americans say: a game changer?”

Staff at the clinic concur.

“Sure, I remember the first time we used Malcolm in a full treatment – we call it the treatment,” says Nurse Irma Wretched, who manages the clinic. “The treatment involves a series of drugs which eventually … well, you know. This time we had run out of a drug we use to initially calm the client. Calm is everything when you are administering the treatment. So Dr Mengele began to play tapes of Malcolm’s podcasts over and over to give us time to find the missing drug. We never found the drug. In fact we stopped looking. Because the effect of what we call the Malcolm Loop was remarkable. We found that Malcolm was so calming that we did not need the drug – expense spared. So we have been using Malcolm ever since. Other camps – sorry, did I say camps? I meant clinics, of course – they use him too, more and more. Who needs drugs when we have Malcolm. For me he’s up there with Bach and Beethoven. Serene, is the word. Ja? And clients pass with such a look of blank peace on their faces, any doubts I have ever had about what we do here, they have vanished. I assure you.”