DEFENCE DESK

AUSTRALIA AND FRANCE have agreed to kiss and make up after the Aussie decision to cancel a humongous submarine contract between the two countries caused something of an entente terrible.

Instead of French subs, Australia will purchase the Maginot Line from the French, which will act as a temporary defence against Chinese aggression while new nuclear-powered submarines are being prepared by Britain and the United States.

“Yes, the Maginot Line, only on previous owner, will be transferred in its entirety to Australia, where it will be installed by our Diggers across the top end,” said a general who wished to maintain his anonymity, and his career.

The Maginot Line, which famously prevented the German Army from invading France along its eastern frontier in 1940, is said to be in need of repair but that will mean that the price Australia will pay for it will be no more than a month’s worth of NDIS claims.

“Albo is really excited,” says a Canberra insider. “People don’t realize it, but the Maginot Line actually worked. It was the charge into Belgium plan that fell apart in 1940. Naturally, Australian strategy will not have us rushing forward into a trap like the Poms and Frogs did back then. We’re gonna spread the line right across the top end and hide there. Come on you Chinese!”