DEFENCE WRITER, PERCIVAL WINTER, MAJOR GENERAL RTD

RECENT DRONE strikes against Moscow have caused some NATO leaders to pause and draw breath with respect to the conflict in Ukraine.

Up until now, the alliance’s politicians, and even some of their military thinkers, had believed that NATO might supply Ukraine with weapons and keep a tight rein on their use. “It was a solid condition of supply, that no NATO weapons could be used to strike Russia proper,” a junior officer at NATO Headquarters in Brussels confirmed. “Implied in that agreement was that Ukraine would fight on its own territory only, and not conduct any significant operations within Russia. Well, there’s a possibility that that – rather naive – notion might be blowing up in all our faces. Let’s just hope none of the drones were ours.”

So, to assist those who misunderstand the nature of war, or have spent too much time playing Call of Duty, a video conference is being prepared to instruct the less well informed of America’s and Europe’s elites with respect to what former US Secretary of Defence, the late Donald Rumsfeld, referred to as the “Unknown Unknowns” of strategic planning.

The lecture BULLET POINT list obtained by the Kookaburra Bugle is as follows:

1. IN WAR, NO PLAN, NO MATTER HOW CLEVER, EVER SURVIVES CONTACT WITH THE ENEMY.
2. REMEMBER NO 1.
3. IF YOU FEED THE BEAST, YOU GIVE IT STRENGTH.
4. ARE YOU STILL REMEMBERING NO 1?
5. ONCE SIGNIFICANT LIVES ARE LOST, REASON OFTEN IS TOO.
6. NO ONE LIKES TO LOSE A WAR. THE PENALTIES ARE HARSH.
7. IF THE ENEMY HITS YOUR HOMES, YOU ARE MORE THAN LIKELY GOING TO TRY AND HIT HIS HOMES.
8. STILL REMEMBERING NO 1?
9. NOTHING MAKES YOU MORE RESISTANT TO COMPROMISE THAN THE SIGHT OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY WITH THEIR FACES BLOWN OFF.
10. PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T FORGET NO 1.