BY WINSTON ROOSEVELT IN KYIV

AS the Ukrainian Army appears to struggle to make progress in its current offensive moves along the war front, the call has gone out for more promotional videos to be made available to help the fighting troops in their gravest hour.

“It’s a hard battle we’re facing,” said Ukrainian spokesperson, Sonia, in Lviv, in far western Ukraine. “If we just had more slick promotional videos we might stand a better chance of breaking through.”

“Yes, this is vital,” explained Colonel Sir Basil Massingbird Gob, late of the Kings Own Queens Infantry, who has been commenting on the war for British media since 1941. “If we can just convince the Russians, and our own people, that Ukraine is in the driver’s seat, that victory is just one more video away, then it’s all to play for.”

And if not?

“We could be fucked! But please don’t quote me on that.”