BELGRADE, THURSDAY

RUSSIA HAS admitted losing scores of soldiers who have literally laughed themselves to death at the sight of Ukrainian troops playing dead like possums when caught out in the open by Russian drones and artillery.

“Yeah, these poor Ukrainian fellows lie down on the ground and fake death!” a Russian commanders said. “Like a possum turns its legs up. It is comical if you’ve been surrounded by slaughter for years. Thing is, some of our lads are so desensitized, the comedy takes them over, and they can’t stop laughing. Then they just drop dead, laughing.”

Dr Nicholas Rasputin, a Moscow psychiatrist who has been called in to deal with the phenomenon, says that this kind of behavior among troops who have seen everything, is not unusual. “When you have been exposed to death and destruction for too long, the slightest thing can become a release, anything strange. Maybe the Ukrainians know this too; maybe this is a tactic. Our soldiers’ problem is that once you release all that pent up emotion, it’s very hard to stop it. They exhaust themselves and die.”