FROM A SLIT TRENCH IN THE DONBASS

WESTERN MEDIA SOURCES say that thousands of Russians begging to surrender are deliberately holding up the Great Ukrainian Offensive all along the front line.

“They’re running at us in the hundreds and thousands,” a Ukrainian officer was quoted as saying, “and we can hardly move. These cowards are choking our advance routes. Some of our boys just want to kill them all but we’re civilized, you know, not like these barbarians.”

A Ukrainian intelligence officer told a Western reporter that the CIA and MI6 believed the Russians had gathered all their chickenshit cowards in so-called “Yellow Battalions” and were indeed pushing them into the paths of the Ukrainian attacks, relying on western decency to slow the Ukrainian spearheads.

“We’re told that if they don’t throw their hands up and fall down crying, begging to surrender, the Russians threaten to shoot them,” the Ukrainian official added. “Quite a few of them are actors. We never planned for this. Our boys have to gather them up and send them back to the rear. It’s holding everything up. And it’s not just the delay, it’s the ugly sight of grown men grovelling, crying, begging, that’s very bad for our morale. These Russians have no decency.”