FROM MELBOURNE, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA

“IT’S PERFECT. The detention centre can serve as the athlete’s village and all we need is a track and a pool. Two billion dollars max.”

The Canberra consultant who spoke these words was already talking by phone to five Federal Labor Ministers on a conference call. “The biggest cost would be my fees. Another billion if we do it on the cheap rate.”

Then he looked up and smiled. “And get this, you’ll have no problem with whole teams and their supporters seeking political asylum. If they do, re-open the detention centre. What a savings! Even Dan Andrews down there in Danistan couldn’t fault that.”