BY PIERRE EICHMANN, GOOD DEATH CORRESPONDENT

CANADA’S PLANS TO extend assisted dying legislation to encompass those who suffer from mental illness have received a boost with news that the entire Nazi Program for killing the mentally ill is available to copy.

“That saves us so much time and effort,” said an assisted dying advocate. “All we have to do is translate it from the German. Of course, the gas trucks might be difficult to explain to people, but we have enough drugs for now, so they probably won’t be needed. Unless the demand really takes off.”

Rumors that the assisted dying laws will soon be expanded to include those with speech impediments and ingrowing toenails could not be confirmed. “The speech issue might just inadvertently prejudice the people of Quebec,” an Ottawa spokeswoman said. “And ingrowing toenails, man, they could open the flood-gates.”