FROM CANADA

“IT APPEARS that Canada has achieved what we failed to. Utter insanity backed up by reason.”

Brother Number 5069, who was responsible for three re-education camps in Cambodia during the 1970s, and now runs a chain of hamburger restaurants in Chicago, says that if he’d known this was how Canada was run, he’d have left Cambodia decades ago and come straight to Ottawa. “This was the kind of paradise we were trying to achieve. Go Trudeau. Brother Number 1.”

Veterans of the Khmer Rouge, who style themselves the Sons of 101, have sent letters of congratulations to the Canadian political and judicial system for stamping out free speech with what they call “such sanctimonious self-righteousness that even Pol Pot would have been embarrassed. We just beat them into silence. You do it with vicious purity. We bow to you. If we believed in God, we might worship you.”

Darkness At Noon, the umbrella organisation for old KGB torturers, has also expressed its support for what it calls “the Trudeau Emptying”, saying people like Peterson not only need to be made retract, they must believe in their retraction, totally.

“The perfect penalty for imperfect thought,” says Leon Beria, who claims he converted a hundred thousand people by re-educating them during his work for the Soviet Union. He adds that “it’s when the subject finally corrects you, that you know you have him. I hope the re-education of this man is that thorough.”

The Gestapo does not have a veterans organisation, as many of them belong to the CIA’s old boys clubs. But a Hauptsturmfuhrer from Essen says he finds the Canadian set-up ironic. “You see, in Auschwitz, which I visited from time to time, the prisoners used to refer to work at the belongings sorting areas, as Kanada, a sort of paradise of freedom in the hell of the camp. I wonder what they would say now.”