FROM QUEENSLAND

AUSTRALIAN NEO-NAZIS, long considered the embarrassing relative of Commonwealth politics, have said that, despite reservations and their natural hatred of all things non-white and left-wing, they would be willing to support the proposed Voice to Parliament if – and only if – they were granted the very same privilege.

“If the black fellas get a voice, then we should too,” says Mel Artichoke, a self-confessed white supremacist and sometime football hooligan. “We’re a small misunderstood, marginalized and occasionally despised minority. I think that satisfies the criteria for a voice. So we’ll have our voice – preferably in German, if you don’t mind.”

An Australian Government spokeswoman, when told of the offer, merely stood there, silent, spilling her skinny latte, mouth wide open, eyes blinking. We figure that’s a no then.