FROM OUR CALIFORNIA DREAMING CORRESPONDENT

“IT MIGHT EVEN improve the place. It could hardly make it much worse. At least we could start all over again with a clean sheet. That would be an improvement.”

Veteran San Francisco resident Sally, aged 103, smiles slightly as she contemplates a nuclear strike on the city she has called home since she was born. “I’m in prison now. Can’t walk my own streets. My rights have been trampled on to serve the so-called rights of people who spend their days doped out of their minds, or mugging anyone who passes, and living off my tax dollars. If you invented a torture like that, they would jail you in some places. Here, it gets you elected. Bring on the bomb. Make it a big one.”

Arthur, who once served time in Alcatraz, says if they opened the prison again he would commit a crime just to get sent there. “It was a paradise compared to this shit hole. If the North Koreans are looking for a secret agent, to provide targeting information, I’m your man. Blow it all to hell. I know it’s harsh but what this city has become, it’s living death for many of us.”

“If they promised a couple of days warning, I’d be for it,” says Relax, a reformed Woke Advocate. “Let the decent folk leave. The street scrum won’t even notice. They’ll die with their hands out and out of their minds.”