FROM LONDON SAFE-HOUSE REPORTER, LY ING LOWE

AMID THE TRIUMPHANT CHEERS at his recapture after a daring prison break, senior British security officials have revealed to the Kookaburra Bugle that the UK’s most wanted man was perhaps 24-hours away from having himself deported to Iran as an illegal immigrant.

“He was on the next flight to Paris, and then onward to freedom,” said a Home Office source. “First Class. They even had his in-flight meal ready. The rush to get anyone with a foreign-sounding name out of the country is now being exploited by fugitives, it appears. Cunning buggers.”

MI5, the British security service, is said to be trawling its illegal immigrant files searching for the world’s most wanted, who may now be using the same trick. “The people smuggling gangs are already on to it,” said an officer. “People come here and then get themselves deported to third countries without extradition treaties. The desperation in Government circles to get foreigners out is compromising our security. Daft bastards.”