FROM G. ST GERMAINE, EQUALITY REPORTER

IT APPEARS WOMEN just cannot win. Having achieved liberation, equality and increasing pay parity, it turns out it’s still a man’s world when it comes to mating.

“Women have always tended to mate and marry up,” says relationship psychologist Dr Darina Enright-Bog, of the world-renowned Clitoris Institute in Vienna. “Unfortunately, as Western women increase their own status, they find that the pool of eligible men actually above them is getting smaller and smaller even while the female pool remains the same. For every eligible man there are now dozens of women competing for his attention. James Bond, eat your heart out, I suppose. A man earning six figures and above is now as rare as hens teeth for the women chasing him. There are actually agencies who contract eligible men for dating high-status women, just to take them off the market. Then a select few women can compete for these guys. The only thing a man has to worry about now is venereal disease. The desperate become easy and the easy easily become sluts.

“So many women have decided to marry down, something that before our times would have be unthinkable. So even loser men are finding that they have a chance of getting a partner, perhaps even a wife. The ‘Lusband’ is now something of a trophy, particularly among women who are what my own dear mother used to refer to as a little bit plain. My brother just says they look like the back of a bus. But let’s stick to plain for legal reasons.

“A problem with this is that divorce courts are increasingly taking the side of Lusbands and giving them seriously good settlements from their high-status, high-achiever wife’s assets. Women need to be aware of this. The beer-swilling loser on your couch watching football and farting the national anthem may be more than just an embarrassment to you in front of your co-workers. It’s a developing situation.

“Indeed, the small population of high-status men who are now targets of ever advancing womanhood, have begun to circle the wagons, as they are very wary of entering relationships which could see their net wealth substantially diminish. They are increasingly leaving Western women behind and searching Asia and Africa for loyal marriage material. Which shrinks the pool available to Western women even more, and forces them, at times, to virtually whore themselves in search of a man. It’s not ideal.But they are equal and high status and empowered. Aren’t they?.”