WASHINGTON, DC

SUCH IS THE growth in what he labels Grassy Knoll Idolatry, Neo-Trotskyist economist Maynard Adams, of the left-wing think tank, NV, claims that, at its present rate of increase, the subject of President Kennedy’s death is rapidly on the way to consuming the entire American economy.

“We have modeled the increase in this area and have discovered a kind of Moore’s Law* with respect to JFK studies. Except the the Kennedy volumes double every six months. It’s phenomenal. Like watching simple cells multiply. At the current rate of increase, the Kennedy death will have consumed one third of the American economy within 200 years and probably the entirety of American efforts by the end of this millennium. It’s something like the ancients devoting huge resources to building pyramids; or the erection of those statues on Easter Island. And don’t even get me started on the death of Marilyn Monroe and 9/11.”

*Computer power doubles every two years