JERUSALEM

FAMED SPOON BENDER and former Israeli paratrooper Uri Geller has been asked to used his psychological powers to wreck all cutlery in Gaza to prevent Hamas fighters eating proper meals, it has been claimed.

“They will be forced to eat with their hands,” says an Israeli spokeswoman. “That’s okay with rice and that kind of thing, but meat and other foods, they need cutlery. If Uri could bend and break their cutlery with his unique powers that would be of huge benefit.”

Medical specialist Dr Kildare Welby of Save Save Save, a non-governmental organisation based in Dublin, Ireland, says there would be a health aspect to such an action. “If Mr Geller was successful the people of Gaza would probably find their clothes covered in food, which inevitably would go off and present a huge health hazard – perhaps even to the Israelis who come into contact with the mess. The law of unintended consequences, I believe they call it.”