OMAHA, NEBRASKA

NEWS THAT HAMAS fighters demanded Diet Coke over Coke Zero, during its attack on an Israeli kibbutz, has caused short sellers up and down Wall Street to take sides with respect to the soft drinks behemoth in anticipation of its share price.

“Some traders think that the Hamas fighter’s declared love for Diet Coke will adversely affect the Coca Cola share price, and they are taking short positions,” says Ben Insider a hedge fund manager with a focus on the Middle East. “Others believe that the share price will rise on the news as Hamas is – like it or not – not without considerably support in the Middle East. But each of these groups is also taking a counter position to hedge just in case.”

Both Coca Cola and its rival Pepsi’s share prices have dropped. Hamas has made no comments on Pepsi.