FROM OUR WESTMINSTER REPORTERS

“AT LEAST WITH a dictator you can put a bullet in his head if he proves to be a useless fuckwit; with these twats you’re stuck with them for five fucking years.”

Dave from Dagenham, who describes himself as an ordinary bloke with only one vice – he supports Arsenal Football Club – was commenting on the extraordinary revelations pouring out of the UK’s Covid Inquiry, particularly the Whatsapp messages between the main parties.

“It really is hard to believe that the country is run by such idiots. In fact ‘useless’ is too soft a word. I mean useless is a striker who can’t hit the net, or a back four who can’t protect their box. This is beyond useless. I don’t have a word for this. I don’t know if anyone does. And their stupidity infects everything it touches. They haven’t even the sense to keep their stupidity out of their text messages. They seem to want to boast about it.

“I’ve lost faith in democracy, completely. And don’t go fucking tell me it’s better than tyranny. This is tyranny, the tyranny of the village idiot who hasn’t even the intelligence to know how stupid he is. Fucked up? They fuck up everything they touch. They destroy capable civil servants and cold professionals. They are … twats … who when they are actually called on to make a decision, can’t do it. All they can contribute is to ruin other people’s decisions. Whatsapp should be Twatsapp. It’s got to stop.”