APOLOGY EDITOR AND WIRE SERVICES

THE SMORGASBORD OF photo opportunities and political errors that have become the stock in trade of the Albanese government in Australia, are to be smothered in a sauce of apologies until the next election, according to Labor insiders in Canberra.

“It’s a winning strategy,” says publicist Lowder Noyze. “The list of apologies the Government can make between now and the election is endless. And everyone loves and apology. It plays really well with the voters, especially the woke crowd. I suspect that Albo will wind up apologizing to individual people if the need presents. Computers mean that he can do that.”

The revelation comes following the latest Australian Government apology, this time to Thalidomide survivors. Labor fundraisers say that there is a plan to give an apology to transportees, and all their descendants, for being hauled out to Australia in chains, and to camels for being brought from Afghanistan without their permission. “Camels are potentially a massive voting bloc if animals ever receive the franchise, which is not impossible if Labor continues in power,” says Wolf Legupp, an eighteen-year-old computer billionaire. “Koalas will be apologized to whether they become voters or not. That’s a given.”