BY FREDDY BARBAROSSA OUR IF-YOU-LIVE-LONG-ENOUGH EDITOR

DECADES AFTER IT was forced out of Lithuania, the German Army is being welcomed back.

The two countries have reached agreement to base German soldiers there as a bulwark against the perceived threat from Vladimir Putin’s Russia next door.

“It’s just like the old days,” remarked former Einsatzgruppe police reservist Theo Eicke-Nebe. “They welcomed us in ’41 too. Hey, maybe we can finish our work. Anyone know Hamas’s number?”

Kremlin officials greeted the news of the return of German forces to the small Baltic state with a shrug. “We’ve been down this road before,” said one. “I hope they’ve brought their winter wear this time.”