BY OUR EVANGELISM STAFF

THE RISE and rise of the English atheist is a YouTube phenomenon which has not gone unnoticed among advertisers.

“They’re beginning to sprout like mushrooms,” says Josef Galloper, an advertising guru who researches online trends using artificial intelligence. “Indeed, like mushrooms, they appear to be exact replicas of one another.”

Galloper has recently published a new report on the opportunities for advertisers on atheist channels, which he says are ironically the best places to sell products to believers.

“Nothing draws religious believers like a smug, conceited, disdainful, cold-eyed atheist with a posh-boy English accent. Remember, doubt is the meat and two veg of religious faith. And these guys are so damn certain. It’s that old Cromwellian thing, founded in Puritanism. In essence these English atheists are a modern form of the 17th Century Puritan. However, instead of religion, their certainty is science. The same kind of people went out and conquered the world in the name of evangelical Christianity only a few generations back. Now, they’re attempting to do the same in the name of atheism. It’s a magnet to the religious. Telling them there is nothing there. Not there might be nothing there, but there is nothing there.”

Galloper says the success of the atheist channels could see them being there own worst enemy.

“Hell – if that’s the right word here – they’re beginning to replicate like early single-celled organisms on earth. And there’ll be a tipping point where they will choke the internet with their message of dark nothingness, and essentially smother their own audience within, say, a hundred years. Their major problem is a kind of idea entropy. There’s only really one way to say there’s nothing there. There are infinite possibilities for something being there.”