CANBERRA, AUSTRALIA

ANY PHYSICAL SIMILARITY between David Sharaz, Brittany Higgins’s new love interest, and Bruce Lehrmann, the man she accuses of raping her in a government minister’s office, are pure coincidence, according to a leading Freudian psychoanalyst.

“The physical resemblance is as much in the minds of observers as it is in anyway real,” says Dr Brunhilda Kopfdum, a specialist in subliminal messaging at the University of Lonnging in Central Austria. “You might look at a cloud on a day you read about this case and see any one of the protagonists in the moisture’s shape. “Lisa Wilkinson’s likeness has been seen in the face of a pitbull terrier, I understand. And a Vietnamese fish farmer said he had a carp that resembled Ms Higgins. Many outback people in Australia report seeing the face of Anthony Albanese in their sheep. Or Peter Dutton in the nuts at the centre of their avocados. We look for reassurance in everything. We see connections where there are none. I think if people look closely at the faces of Mr Luhrmann and Mr Sharaz, they will note Mr Luhrmann sports a beard whereas Mr Sharaz has no visible facial hair. I believe that speaks for itself.”