THE FRENCH CONNECTION, CANBERRA

“YES, BRUCE LEHRMANN says he went back to Parliament on the night in question to deal with thoughts about French submarines; and Brittany Higgins and that new man of hers have recently moved to France. But I don’t think people should read any more into all that than an interest in things French, really. Sure wasn’t there some evidence of French kissing at the bar? No, I don’t think there’s anything strange in all of that. Many people like all things French. Many people have French thoughts. Many people have thoughts about submarines. Some people have thoughts about French submarines. Vive La France.”

Dr Frances Lettres, of the Ecole De Saignement Evident in Paris, was speaking to a gathering of Australians in the French capital, to mark the close of evidence in the Bruce Lehrmann defamation action against Australia’s Network Ten and others.

“Dr Lettres was answering questions from her audience, most of whom were on a Clube du Shaag tour of Europe, when the issue of the French submarines arose, so to speak,” said a witness to the event .

Apparently, while plunging fearlessly into the controversial subject, the academic insisted that it was possible to find subliminal imagery in almost anything, and if the court hearing the case wished for her professional advice, she would be glad to provide it. “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Yes, Yes, Yes!” she cried at the conclusion of her talk.