CANBERRA

AUSTRALIA’S SOLDIERS, the nation’s much-vaunted diggers of Gallipoli, Tobruk, Kokoda and Long Tan, are to receive a new training course in how to surrender in disgrace.

Hot on the heels of a condemnation of the Hamas attack on Israel on 7th October last year, that resembled a slap with a feather, the Australian Green Party has now chosen to sternly condemn its own Government’s support of allied military action against Houthi rebels in Yemen, in response to their attacks on international shipping in the Red Sea.

The Greens’ defence spokesman said the attacks were hypocritical if Australian policy was to prevent an escalation of the Gaza conflict across the Middle East.

An Australian Government spokeswomen said in response: “In case the galah hasn’t noticed, the Houthi are Iran’s proxies in Yemen, just like Hamas does their bidding in Gaza, Hezbollah in Lebanon and the Assad regime in Syria. When the Houthi hit ships in the Red sea, they do it for Iran, with Iranian weapons. I think we can say that the conflict is already spreading. We’re just trying to draw a line here, to stop it going any further. If the shipping stops, then trade stops, and industry follows. But then that’s Green policy, isn’t it? So, just in case the Greens ever call the shots here in Canberra, we’ll have Defence school their boys and girls in humiliating surrender. Diversity inclusive, of course. Christ, who votes for these clowns?”