CANBERRA

A PLAN TO replace the current Australian flag, with an image both white and black Aussies can share, has been suggested by a pressure group dedicated to ending the tension over 26 January each year.

“Shackles,” explained Bruce Bluey of Unlock. “The first whites to come here, they came in shackles. And ever since, the indigenous population, they have felt they are in shackles. So we have a flag with that image and we change Australia Day to Shackle Day. Problem solved. Break out the piss. Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.”