FROM DUBLIN

BRITAIN’S TOP MILITARY hero has warned the general population of Brexit Britain, that recruitment for his forces is so low, conscription would have to be reintroduced if the country had to fight Russia in the near future.

However, General Sir Patrick Saunders’ suggestion is being seen in some quarters as a perfect way to drive the Nationalist population from Northern Ireland.

“Yes, Fenians first!” exclaimed William Davy William, a Belfast Protestant whose Church of Righteous Vengeance sits surrounded by barbed wire on the peace line in that divided city. “Conscript the papist bastards first. Even a sniff of conscription will have the cowardly rats pouring into the South. They’ll be begging for a hard border then. Sure wasn’t it conscription that made them all Fenians in 1918? 1916 Rising, my arse. It was plain cowardice. An entire nation of cowards. This is a terrific idea. There won’t be a Fenian north of Dundalk if this goes ahead. Northern Ireland … Northern Ireland … the Union forever, hurrah, boys hurrah!”