BELFAST

“NO MATTER HOW you spin this, it’s historic. Unionists serving under a Republican First Minister. The Fenians aren’t just about the place, they’re in charge.”

Professor Manus Og Connolly-Pearse-Plunkett-Clarke-Ceannt-McDermott-McDonagh of the Whatever You Say Say Nothing Foundation, an Irish Republican prisoner support group based in Boston, Massachusetts, was visibly tearful when he spoke to the Kookaburra Bugle.

“It’s a day we all longed for, but felt might not come in our lifetimes. The symbolism cannot be overstated. And hats off to Jeffrey Donaldson for having the balls to do it and the brains to see it had to be done. Of course, he’ll suffer for it. As far as his Unionist enemies are concerned, the IRA is now in command in Northern Ireland, and he put them there, and no amount of parsing, or claims of trade concessions, can repair that. The ghosts of Terrence O’Neill and Brian Faulkner – even David Trimble – will be wandering the grounds of Stormont in the coming months, wondering what they did that was so wrong. And Unionist hardliners will be burning Jeffrey in effigy. You have to ask, is Lord Donaldson of Lundy a far off prospect?”

Unionist commentator Paisley Carson, who supports the Traditional Unionist Voice, which is sharply critical of Donaldson’s DUP, says “they might as well make ‘Ooh Aah Up The Ra‘ the Northern Ireland anthem. They can sing it in the Stormont chamber at each sitting, Jeffrey Donaldson leading the chorus. Lundy only wanted to open the gates to the Papists back in the day, the DUP has given them the title deeds, the furniture and all the silver.”