KYIV

SO TEAM UKRAINE has sacked its popular young manager and replaced him with an older unpopular hard-ass.

In what can only be described as a lacklustre season, the eastern European nation appears to need a fresh head at the helm.

“Yeah, we were going forward, they were going back. Then they were going forward and we were going back,” explains pundit Ed Coupdetat, who occasionally supplies volunteers to the Ukrainian cause from his base in London. “But it’s a game of two halves, isn’t it?. Young Zaluzhny was a good general but not a great general. A loser, if you like. He cared too much for the lives of his men. This isn’t tiddly winks. The only thing you have to spend in the end in war is the lives of your men. If you can’t do that then get out of the way for someone who can.

“Syrskyi is good in both defence and on the offence. He led the defence of Kyiv in early 2022 and the victories around Kharkiv later that year. He’s an Alex Ferguson, a tough thinker, a clear strategist if you like; Zaluzhny was a golden boy, a Mourinho perhaps, with, some say, political ambitions. Not good for a general who loses on the field. Remember the fate of George McClellan in the American Civil War. He talked the talk but couldn’t walk the walk. Grant and Sherman, they not only walked the walk, they made sure the opposition were crippled before they tried. Touch of the old Norman Hunter at Leeds United when Don Revie was in charge.

“An awful of a lot of money has been invested into Ukraine. Investors and fans want to see results on the field. Silver in the cabinet if you like. There’ll be big pressure on the new man, Syrski, to provide results, and be a winner. Remember Ukraine wants to play in Europe, where the big money is. And as the yanks say, it ain’t over till it’s over. And even then there’s always a penalty shootout.”