MOSCOW EDITOR, BORIS O’KANE

FOLLOWING PUTIN SIDEKICK Dmitry Medvedev’s recent outburst threatening nuclear annihilation to sundry western countries, fears are growing that British spy agency MI5’s headquarters in Belfast will be a target in any such attack.

“It wouldn’t take much,” explains Dr Noel Kryticalmass, an expert in nuclear war based in London. “A small hypersonic rocket carrying a low-yield weapon. It would be enough to wipe Belfast off the face of the planet though.”

Some people in Belfast believe that is the reason for the large MI5 building north-east of the city. “The feeling here is that they set up house in Belfast believing that they would be safer from Russian attack than colleagues in London, as the Russians might be reluctant to nuke Ireland as a whole,” says Patrick Tone, a Sinn Fein activist based in West Belfast. “Essentially, MI5 is taking shelter in a perceived United Ireland. But it’s big risk, and if it doesn’t work, Irish men and women will pay the price.”