BELGRADE, THURSDAY

NAZIS AND ISLAMIC fundamentalists are up in arms. Nothing new in that you may think. Until you find out why. It’s not Gaza, it’s not Putin. It’s not even Ken Barlow’s latest Coronation Street romance. No, this time it’s the listing by London’s Victoria and Albert Museum of Adolf Hitler and Osama Bin Laden as contemporary villains alongside the Iron Lady of British politics, Margaret Thatcher.

It’s outrageous,” yelled Hermann Von Speer Himmler of the Who Needs Freedom Anyway Alliance. “The V&A has gone too far. How dare they put our glorious Fuhrer in the same list as that ultra right-wing lunatic. Mark my words, there will be anger. Yes, the Fuhrer did some bad things but comparison with Thatcher is unforgivable.”

Dr Muhammed Al Sandi Dysert, who claims to be the leader of Al Qaeda in South Beach, Miami, Florida, is calling for a boycott of the V&A by all Muslims. “The insult is not just to Osama Bin Laden,” he insists, “it is a slap in the face to all who believe. She was a satanic infidel. The hair, the handbag, the twin set and pearls, the slightly mellow male tones to her voice. And those ankles. All were designed to seduce believers into apostasy. Netanyahu before Thatcher.”