MOSCOW

THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE have swung in behind strongman leader Vladimir Putin once again.

Offered a choice between action man Vlad and a bunch of useless losers, including a Communist for God’s sake, almost 9 in ten voters put their mark beside Putin’s name.

“President now, President forever,” exclaimed Yuri from Siberia. “When he dies we can have him preserved like Lenin, and download his brain. It’s a no-brainer, ha, ha!”

The small percentage of people who voted against Putin will need to be examined for mental illness, according to Russian Government sources. “They will be well-treated in one of our special institutions for the criminally insane,” says Irina Stalingradova, a spokesman for the Kremlin, who once represented East Germany in the shot put at the Olympics. “No pressure.”