SYDNEY

A SPOKESMAN FOR Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi insist his boss meant no disrespect to the Australian Government when he indicated he would be meeting former Prime Minister Paul Keating on his visit to Australia.

“He honestly has no idea who Anthony Albanese and Penny Wong are,” explained the Beijing bureaucrat. “He’s frankly amazed that Paul Keating is not in charge of your country any more. In China, if we get a good one, we hang on to him. Mr Yi is struggling to read up on your current administration and keeps asking what happened to Kevin Rudd.

“Ms Wong appears to have some Chinese ancestry, so that should take up fifteen minutes when they meet; but Mr Albanese is a complete mystery and quite honestly Mr Yi doesn’t understand why he would need to meet him at all. Anyway, we’ll sort it all out so that no one loses face. Our Foreign Minister is currently staring at pictures of the faces of every member of the Australian Government, trying to remember names, and answering basic questions on their various portfolios. He’s looking forward to Sydney, though. Canberra is a little bland.”