BELGRADE, THURSDAY

WITH FINE GAEL luminaries taking to the lifeboats in record numbers, the politician of the moment, Simon Harris, soon to be crowned Taoiseach unopposed, has some of his own supporters wondering whether the lack of competition might be telling them something more than that their man is a magnificent political beast, supercharged for leadership and destined to achieve greatness.

“Jaysus, it’s one thing taking the captaincy of the Titanic as she’s taking on water, it’s quite another offering to be marooned on the fucking iceberg,” said a Harris cheerleader whose networking group thinks the youthful minister’s ambition may have gotten the better of him.

“Liz Truss are the words that immediately come to mind,” said another Harris acolyte when news of his unopposed coronation was announced.

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a frown,” said a current member of the cabinet in reference to Mr Harris’s often concerned countenance.

Others though, we’re not so downbeat.

“Fuck, he can’t lose,” said a woman from Wexford. “If Fine Gael leave office in a year, he’ll at least have been Taoiseach; if they get another term, he’ll continue to be Taoiseach. And he can blame any failures on Leo. And tell the word he stood up when no one else would, for the sake of the country. Martyrdom guaranteed.”