CANBERRA

IT MIGHT HAVE looked like a masterclass in rank hypocrisy, a terrific waste of tax-paper money and two fingers to any notion of a carbon footprint, but Australian Government sources have assured the public that the use of two private jets, by PM Albanese and Minister Chris Bowen – that’s one each – to fly to the same event, was actually a cunning plan to confuse potential enemies who might seek to bring down the Albo regime with a single anti-aircraft missile.

“We’re investing in even more French-made luxury air travel,” explained a Cabinet source. “Probably one for each of the cabinet, and if we can get the cash, there’ll be one for every member of Federal Parliament. I bet they don’t complain then. Yeah, look, it’s a tried and tested way of ensuring survival. The Royal Family use it. Rock bands, too, after the Lynyrd Skynyrd shambles. If one minister gets popped then the others are there to pick up the pieces. And so on. Remember we lost three ministers in an aircraft crash in 1940. And that was an own goal. Today, we have ISIS, Russia, China, maybe even some of the biker gangs, and, of course, the Calabrian Mafia, all potential assailants. And anyone can pick up serious anti-aircraft hardware these days for the price of a Sydney apartment. So, cry if you like but no matter what happens, Australian Government will go on, and on … and on ….*and ….”

*Our reporter stopped taking notes at this point – ED