CAPE RACE, SUNDAY

A TOP ESKIMO scientist has speculated that the real cause of the sinking of the Titanic may have been the sheer amount of fictional characters populating her when she struck the iceberg.

Dr. Josie Seelkull, who specializes in quantum mathematics at the University of The Northern Lights, says that if you marry the concept of retro-causality to probability theory, it’s just possible that writers who lived after the sinking and placed their fictional characters on the doomed liner, somehow contributed to the disaster that befell the Titanic by overloading her with people from parallel realities who made their way on to the ship the night she went down.

“It’s a hard concept to take on board,” he says. “You have to be comfortable with the notion that the future can affect the past – that’s retro-causality; then you must understand that probability theory allows for the possibility of anything that might happen, actually happening. If these came together in 1912, then it’s conceivable that the mighty ship was indeed sunk by future generations’ fascination with its fate. James Cameron’s Jack and Rose, and so many others, may have caused the disaster they were all victims of. One wonders what future interest in our time is affecting events as we speak.”