WESTMINSTER STRINGERS

BRITISH MEMBERS OF Parliament are calling for a law preventing tractors under 16 years old being used in so-called Tractor Porn Videos.

A cross-party parliamentary group insists its sympathies are with all the tractors being used in what they call “these vile videos”.

“However, we cannot do much for tractors over sixteen years of age,” said a spokesman for the group. “Tractors over sixteen are taken to be giving their consent, unless there is evidence to the contrary. We are talking about the thousands of underage tractors being employed in this gruesome trade. There is currently no law to protect these vehicles from being used as – essentially – sex slaves.”

The proposed legislation would require the manufacturers of Tractor Porn to register the age of all tractors – or indeed any farm machinery – being used in these productions.

“If we can save just one of these workhorses of the farming industry from exploitation – many of whom may have been forced into it by the hard times brought about by Brexit – then it will have been worth it,” added the cross-party parliamentary group spokesman.