DUBLIN

A FORMER LOYALIST gunman, who now votes Alliance, has advised Sinn Fein, if it ever gets into government in Dublin, to hand out temporary Irish passports to incoming UK migrants, and then send them back across the border.

“They could waltz back into Britain without drawing a breath because of the common travel area,” insists Davy Hardknose, who says he once defended Tigers Bay against an entire IRA battalion. “Or they could even stay in Northern Ireland and bolster the anti-Brexit, Pro-European Union front that is slowly developing here. The passports would have a duration of say three years, but that would be long enough for the migrants who wanted to stay in Britain to bed themselves down until Labour got back into power in London and reversed the Tory Rwanda plan. Worth considering, I think.”