RAFAH, GAZA

AN INTERNATIONAL university-based human rights group says that the overwhelming Israeli attack on Gaza in recent months has caused so much damage that there are now not enough roofs left from which Islamic fundamentalists could throw homosexuals to their deaths should the need arise.

Holocaust-Schmolocaust, a left-wing think tank that monitors what it calls “the Jewish Conspiracy to Occupy Palestine” says that apart from the terrible death toll inflicted on the civilian inhabitants of Gaza by Israel, in retaliation for the Hamas massacre of hundreds of Israelis last October, a deeply-felt Islamic cultural practice has been made impossible because most of the buildings preferred by Muslim fundamentalists for the summary execution of homosexuals have been demolished.

“It is typical of the Zionists that they not only wish to commit physical genocide, they also want to perpetrate a cultural annihilation on the innocent Palestinian population,” insisted Hugo Jubater, a PhD student who discovered the plight of Gaza’s inhabitants when he accidentally pressed the wrong button on his smartphone last week. “I was trying to find the latest Greta T. outpouring when I discovered this. God, I hate America. And those Jews. What gives them the right?”

A Hamas spokesman approached by the Kookaburra Bugle correspondent in Khan Yunis for comment, shrugged his shoulders and said: “No need for us to kill queers here, the Israelis are doing the job for us.”