MIGRANTS WILL HAVE TO SERVE FIFTEEN YEARS BEFORE BEING ELIGIBLE FOR RESIDENCY

BY OUR WESTMINSTER STAFF

RISHI SUNAK’S CONSCRIPTION bombshell has a booby-trap attached to it for all those considering coming to the UK without permission: they will be first to be conscripted and they will have to serve fifteen years in the military before being even eligible to ask to reside in Brexit Britain.

“The idea is that the UK will go to war more often and this will thin out the applications for asylum,” said a Senior Tory spokesperson. “We can re-establish the empire, force great trade deals on our defeated opponents and not have to answer to the Great British public for the deaths of their sons and daughters in battle as most of our soldiers will be anonymous migrants. Win-win!”